Crash Bandicoot Retold 3: Return Of Cortex
by datfuni
Summary: SuperSaiyanCrash's AKA Richie Norris's Crash Bandicoot goes on adventure again! This time he meets several characters from different series! Troll Fic.
1. Chapter 1: Adventure Begins

bRichie: Shit what we could do today?/b  
iFanturd: Make CBR3 And Add a Lot of New Characters and OC's Unto It!/i  
bRichie: Yeah sure why not/b  
h1Crash Bandicoot Retold 3: Return Of Cortex/h1

It is a cold morning on N. Sanity Island, when suddenly, a shadow ran to Crash Bandicoot's house. It was Cody Bandicoot, Coco Bandicoot's husband. Cody knocked the door and Crash opened it. "What is it, Cody?" Cody was hustling. "Cortex is back from the prison, and he's got somebody!" Crash Bandicoot stood up and ran naked to outside. "YOU FORGOT YOUR CLOTHES!"  
Crash turned and walked back to inside blushing.

Meanwhile Goku was at his house masturbating when door was crashed open. "Who The Hell dares to interrupt me?" Goku screamed, then he saw there was a giant samurai at the door. "I... AM... SILVER SAMURAI! PREPARE TO DIE!" Jin walked inside. "Hi Goku what are you doing EUUUGH!" Silver Samurai done shuriken on Jin, but he didn't die because he was wearing armour. "You hurt my friend! That's why i shall kick your ass!" Goku kicked, but his bones broke. "OUCH, That's one damn hard armour!" Goku shouted while rolling on the ground. Silver Samurai laughed. "YOU AND YOUR BANDICOOTS DIE!" Samurai screamed. "No!" Goku screamed. "I will join your side, but don't kill Jin or me." Samurai put down his sword. "Oh really? Cortex, get over here." Cortex walked from behind Samurai. "Well, well. Just as planned. Now i know where i put N. Gin's loose robotic head." Goku astonished. "No! This wasn't part of the plan, please, kill me! Kill EEEEEEERRGGHH!"  
Jin ran from window as lightings tortured Goku.

Crash, Cody and Julia were running to Goku's house when they saw a hole. "What is that?" Julia asked. "It might be a trap!" Crash said and took his sword. Suddenly, a hare rose from the hole. It was eating a carrot. "Eeeerrrrr, What's Up Doc?". Crash looked at the rabbit confused. "Nice boobies, lady" rabbit said at Julia. Julia blushed, and Cody asked "What is your name?". "I am Bugs, Bugs Bunny." A Rabbit with a carrot said. "Where you going at?". Crash looked at others and suddenly heard terrible screaming. "It's Goku, Let's go!"


	2. Chapter 2: Birth of N Giku

"You are no longer Goku Bandicoot." Cortex said. "From now on, you are the abomination of evil. You... Are... N. Giku." Goku rose up, his face was now half-mechanic, and his brain was filled with distorted memories, both from him and N. Gin. "**I am Cortex's ally, I am Crash's friend, NO! I am Nobody.**" N. Giku took his hat and destroyed it and screamed: "**WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO BE?**" Cortex smiled menacingly. "Perfect, let's go, Samurai, we've got Bandicoots to finish.

Crash and others ran as they met Jin, who was shaking. "What's wrong?" Crash asked. "Th... they turned Goku into a... a... MONSTER!"

"Oh no!" Crash yelled and ran as fast as he could. Cody and Julia followed him, as Bugs left with Jin. "Errrrrr, what's up doc?" Bugs asked.

Crash and Julia and Cody ran to Goku's house when they crashed on Silver Samurai. "BANDICOOTS! MUST DESTROY!" Then he sliced Cody in half. "No... Cody... YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" Crash yelled and rose his arms "SONIC BOOM!" Silver Samurai flew to space in an N. Sanity Island-Shaking Kaboom. "How he can do Sonic Boom? That's impossible!" Cortex screamed. Crash turned around and saw Cortex and N. Giku. Crash bit his teeth in anger "Cortex, there you are. First you killed Cody and, now you turned Goku into a robot!" Cortex facepalmed and said "A Cyborg. I had to put N. Gin's soul into SOMETHING right?" Crash ran up to N. Giku and screamed: "GOKU! DO YOU REMEMBER ME? I AM CRASH BANDICOOT" N. Giku didn't say anything. He was thinking who he was. Was he N. Gin or Goku. "**Who am i? I have both memories, both brains... but still i don't seem to be neither.**" Crash had tears falling from his eyes. "YOU! ARE! GOKU! YOU! ARE! GOKU! YOU! ARE! GOKU! YOUAREGOKUYOUAREGOKUYOUAREGO KU!" Then N. Giku realised "**I AM GOKU!** **THIS IS A CURSE PUT ON ME! I AM GOKU**" Then he turned on Cortex and screamed: "**I AM NOT YOUR TOY!**" and attacked Cortex. Jin and Bugs Bunny were coming from the corner. "He is back." Jin said. Then Cortex was thrown to Sea.

"**I Am Sorry, but looks like this is my true form from now on." **N. Giku said when everyone were back at his house. **"We must still find Cortex and kill him, as a revenge from Cody's death" **Crash nodded in agreement. Julia asked: "What about Cora and Coco? Who tells them Cody is dead?" Bugs who was eating carrot in corner got an idea. "I know just the right person!"

Coco heard a knock from the door. She gone open with only towel on her body. Aaron Hotchner was behind the door. "What? Who are you?" Coco asked. "How about we go to a dinner tonight?" Aaron said. "I-i'm married." Coco waffed. "Who cares? Your husband is dead... i mean, gone with Crash." Aaron responded sarcastically. "You look pretty handsome, Sure!" Coco said. Bugs and Jin were watching from distance. "Man, What a Hore!" Bugs said.

Meanwhile, Cortex was back at his castle, and he was angry. "Don't worry, Cortex. I will destroy them." Brio said, and flew to island with his dragon. "Tonight we see death!"


	3. Chapter 3: Radical Changes Occur

Brio flew to the N. Sanity island with his dragon, he wanted to spy on Crash and others. "I have learned dark magic, so i will do horrible radical changes at Crash!" Brio said.

In the island, Crash Bandicoot was preparing forces to attack Cortex. Cora had joined the team to get revenge from the death of her brother. Bugs Bunny was coming from distance with recruited allies. "Okay, Docs. Here are our allies!" Bugs said. Others sat down. A man with armour came up first. "This is Petyr Baelish, but let's just call him Littlefinger." Then a green man wearing a turban stept. "This is Piccolo, he can do superthings." Finally a man wearing a black coat stept and he had super-realistic bloody eyes. "This is Creepypasta Man. He is creepy as you can see." Crash rose up and formed the army against Cortex. "Okay guys, i guess this is enough. We must fight against Cortex for the last time. This time we will really kill him off, and eat his body, and use his skin as condoms." Suddenly, N. Brio attacked them while riding his dragon. Other soldiers fought back, but it didn't help. "Hahahaha! Now Crash, you will get another redesign!" Brio dropped a beaker on him and Crash exploded.

**"NO!"** N. Giku screamed, but suddenly, Crash rose from the smoke, but he was different. His skin was black, His muscles were bigger, he had strong mechanical wings and his face was half-zombie. "Oh no! Brio turned Crash into Gary Stu!" Cora screamed. "Right answer, my dear." Brio spoke in his Orson Welles-voice. "Now when Crash is hyper-powerful, he doesn't need to be Super Saiyan and i can give Saiyan soul to Cortex, see you later!" Piccolo flied after him. Crash also tried to go after him, but his wings were actually carton in disguise and they didn't work. "Damn it, i knew it was a lie!" Crash said. "Don't worry" Julia said, "Now we must catch Brio before he goes away!"

"Hey, What's that?" Jin asked, as he grabbed a small piece of hair. Suddenly he was a super saiyan. "Man, Dude! This is the coolest thing happened to me! I go after Brio!" Jin screamed. Crash and others looked up worried.

Brio was riding his dragon when he was catched by Piccolo. "What the heck man? You do realize violence is not the answer right?" Brio first laughed, but then he stopped. "What if it's true? Cortex has always threated me like a bag of shit. Thank you, Gasmoxian. I will turn good from now on..." Suddenly Piccolo punched him to space. "What a gullible fool"

Meanwhile Coco was eating dinner with Aaron Hotchner at Krabby Patty. "Oh it is nice to have a dinner with you Mr. Hotchner." Coco said as she bite a slice of pie. "I agree, oh, and your husband died." Hotchner replied. Suddenly Coco turned white, and her hair turned black. Suddenly she was screaming metal. Mr. Krabs watched terrified from the distance. "SPONGEBOB! THIS IS THE THIRD PIE THAT TURNS PERSON INTO MARILYN MANSON! YOU'RE FIRED FOREVER!" Krabby Patty was destroyed when Spongebob ran away crying, right in to the N. Sanity Island.

Meanwhile Cortex was expecting Brio to come back, but he didn't hear anything. "Damn it, has thosee foolish Bandicoots killed Brio again?" Suddenly, Super Saiyan Jin and Piccolo flew thru wall. "You're finished, Cortez!" Jin screamed as he got orgasm. "Nope." Cortex said and pulled a switch. "Suddenly, they were both Weird Al Concert! "No. He used teleporter on us!" Piccolo screamed. Meanwhile on Cortex Island Cortex was laughing his ass off. How will Crash would stop him now?


	4. Chapter 4: Bloody Assassin Samurai

Spongebob ran into Bugs, who was watching the undercovers of Cortex Tower. "Please, Kill me! I Got fired and my life is meaningless!" Spongebob screamed. "Don't worry, i'll get you a new job!" Bugs said. "Hey, Crash! Get over here!" Crash ran and watched Spongebob, then shook his head. "What that stupid Sponge could do?". Spongebob started crying. Bugs looked angrily at Crash. "Why are you so mean? Look, it has a little tail!"

**"TAIL?" **N. Giku screamed. **"HE MUST BE SUPER SAIYAN!"** N. Giku ran at Bugs, Crash and Spongebob and looked at Spongebob's tail. **"YES, HE IS SUPER SAIYAN!"** Then Littlefinger walked up to them and said "I don't want to interrupt but i have also that tail so i am Super Saiyan!". Then they celebrated.

Meanwhile at the Weird Al Concert, Weird Al was torturing Jin and Piccolo with his powers. "I am gonna put you into my toaster, there you suffer a horrible death and burn into pieces, kay?" Piccolo wanted to get out of the concerts but windows and doors were made out of unbreakable steel. "It's no use!" Piccolo said. He threw a bench on it. "It's no use!" Piccolo said. Jin threw soda machine on it. "It's no use!" Piccolo said. Jin threw the declaration of independence on it. "It's no us..." Piccolo was about to say when Weird Al grabbed him from ear. "Of course it's no use you dumbcat! This is the strongest steel in the omniverse." Suddenly, a space machine flew thru the corridoor. "NO!" Weird Al screamed. A Guy jumped from Space Machine. "I am Ana-Kin Kenobi. Force has forced me to save these two." Weird Al just laughed and asked: "What's you gonna do?" Ana-Kin took his lightsaber and sliced him in half, then put his sliced body on the toaster, and they all ate a good breakfast. "We must go." Ana-Kin said. "Force forced me to save you so we can beat Cortex." And then they all went on Ana-Kin Kenobi's space machine and they flew away.

Meanwhile, Creepypasta Man was slicing his wrists when Silver Samurai fell on him. "Whoa, What a landing." Samurai said. Then Agent 47 walked by. "ICA forced me to kill you, Creepypasta Man. You're disgrace to humanity." Suddenly, Creepypasta Man used Russian Sleep Experiment, and all three fused their DNA's to become one being, Bloody Samurai Assasin. He wore black and red samurai armour and his face was bloody, and he had guns in his hands. "i kidil everypen" BSA said, he talked quickly because he was formed from three people who all wanted just to kill. BSA blew up the building. "Hey, N. Giku. Your building just blew up." Cora said. **"NO!"** N. Giku screamed and ran to see was building ok. It was not. Instead, he saw giant muscled black figure staring at him with his hyperrealistic eyes. "You fir dnow." BSA said. **"HEEEEEEEEELP"** N. Giku said and ran away. BSA done shuriken but it instead hit near-by tree. Others heard the scream, and Spongebob and Littlefinger turned into a Super Saiyan. Crash also tried to do something, but his muscles collapsed and he flew around like a balloon. "Damn iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiit!" Crash yelled. Littlefinger and Spongebob conforted BSA. Spongebob threw electronic jellyfishes at him, but BSA blocked them. Littlefinger rided a golden horse but BSA shot it and horse died, Littlefinger and Spongebob flew to the air and done a combined power attack. When Attack hit BSA he collapsed to the ground, leaving a slow trail. Just when Littlefinger and Spongebob were celebrating their victory, BSA quickly rose and did a death stare, it didn't effect Spongebob or Littlefinger, but Bugs Bunny who was battle from distance got a heart attack. "I... i am... i am... DEAD!" Then Bugs died.

Meanwhile, Crash was flying around like a popped balloon. "I think i am DYING!" Crash said. Suddenly he fell on the Space Machine of Ana-Kin Kenobi. "Who's that?" Kenobi asked. "Hey, It's Crash. And he is weak, maybe he'll become stronger if i give my Super Saiyan powers to him. Then Jin kissed Crash. Piccolo and Ana-Kin started to throw up, but it worked! Jin was no longer yellow, but Crash was standing strongly and had became a Super Saiyan. "I will now go and save my friends!" Crash said and flew away.

Spongebob was in real trouble now, BSA was pointing an uzi to his forehead. Littlefinger was taking dead Bugs to the hospital. "So long, Sponge!" BSA said, when suddenly a light brought BSA down. "What the fuck?" BSA asked. He saw that Crash Bandicoot was flying at him, then Crash quickly tackled him. BSA flew few miles. Then Crash shot Kamehameha on him, and BSA flew again to space. "what an ironic chaneg!" BSA said.

Meanwhile, Littlefinger dropped Bugs accidentally, but he was catched by N. Brio's dragon. "Huh?" Littlefinger watched. Brio had a beaker, and he dropped a bit on Bugs Bunny's mouth. Suddenly, Bugs was alive again, but he looked weird. He was now a dragon. "Kill him!" Brio commanded. Then Bugs did a Ninja kick but Littlefinger defended it. Then Ana-Kin Kenobi's space machine hit Bugs. "Wasn't Brio supposed to be good?" Piccolo asked. When suddenly Bugs ate Ana-Kin Kenobi's space machine! Littlefinger flew away in terror because he felt he was going to be back to normal soon.

Inside Bugs's tummy, Jin, Ana-Kin, Piccolo and spaceship felt a strange tingling and when Bugs vomited them out. They were all Nazi Playboy Bunny Zombies! Brio flew away to give Super Saiyan medicine to Cortex finally.


End file.
